I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
