I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Randomize
