So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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