I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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