I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you