Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!