i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He told me they were just razor bumps!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
