help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
