have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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