Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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