I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
