I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
