I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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