and next time when you feel me up, do it right
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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