I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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