i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
