She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.