You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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ttyl tear gas
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
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so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.