Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.