toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Sorry my hands just texted you
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.