he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES