How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick