Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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