i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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