So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
