If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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