I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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