Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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