I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
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Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
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