yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
