That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
