I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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