I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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