I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
