What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
