Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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