Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
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haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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