Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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