How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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