I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
