i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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