After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
