i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
