Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
