Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
