Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
