I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
