Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
