Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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