Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
