I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
