Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize