can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
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I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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