i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He called his prostate his "boner button".
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
