Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
