the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
