she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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