driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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