so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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