pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just pee around me
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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