I don't think brook has ever known best
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
