Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize