I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
