what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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