My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on