Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
