i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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