He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
